So many emotions!

It has been a rather emotional time recently, I've had a few personal ups and downs and right now I've just got this overwhelming need to tell the world how I feel.

As every person does every now and again I've had a bit of a rough week or so. I've felt a little unwell off the back of a busy birthday week (or two), a couple of little spats between Dan and I (mainly due to us both being tired and ratty I think!) I've had a minor set back with my leg a couple of weeks ago and then to top this week off I had a more than disappointing appointment with the housing team who I thought were really going to help me.

All these things added together has seemed to turn me into this crazy emotional, self conscious stark raving lunatic, seriously not joking it's like I've had PMT for like three weeks.. Either that or a mild form of bi-polar! One day I'm happier than I've ever been and the next day I'm crying like a baby over spilt milk! Hormones are going crazy for some reason..

Anyway, amidst all this yo-yo-ing with my emotions I have actually had the time of my life and really and wholly learnt the true meaning of what it feels like to be loved. It was my 25th birthday at the end of August and I knew Dan had arranged a weekend away for us somewhere, but that's all I knew. So when we arrived at this stunningly beautiful cottage in the middle of acres and acres of fields, you can imagine how amazed I was! It was perfect. A gorgeous three bedroom cottage with a log burning fire in the lounge and just me and my favourite boy. Or so I thought.

Just a quick one..

In one hour the Paralympic Opening Ceremony will begin and I don't know how to feel..

On the one hand I'm so happy for all my friends who are there taking part, and so excited to see them compete and hopefully bring us home some medals..

But on the other hand.. I'm feeling this gut wrenching churn in my stomach and struggling to hold back the tears already, feeling jealous and upset that I'm not there.

I so wanted this to be my year, competing, experiencing the electric atmosphere that so many people are talking about and yet now I'm not even there to watch. I guess I'll just have to grin and bare it, and try to enjoy watching my friends having the time of their lives...

I know I sound bitter, but I'm not really, I genuinely wish them all the best of luck and will be routing for them all.

Let's go GB!! *wipes away a tear* :)

Goodbye for now..

I would like to introduce you to one of the nicest guys you are ever likely to meet.. This is my friend Danny.



"Friend" is kind of an understatement to be honest, he's much much more than that to me. I've known him for around about eight years and from the very beginning, when he was just 13 and I was 17, we just clicked. as cheesy or corny as that might sound, it's true. And not in that way before you think it, just in the sense that I knew from day one that his friendship would be something very special to me.

Head to toe in chocolate.. Thank goodness for hair nets!

If I had to make a list of of the Top 10 days of my life, today would only be beaten by the day I scored my first basket for GB and the day I met Dan. And its him who I have to thank for this day happening.

It's my birthday next week but I was lucky enough to get one of my presents early as Dan had booked me on a course at Slattery's, which is a very upmarket chocolatiers in Bury. The course was a Chocolate Wedding & Celebration Cake course and it's something I've always wanted to learn more about, especially since becoming addicted to shows such as Choccywoccydoodah! I've always known about Slattery's but I didn't know they did courses until just recently and within a week of me finding this out, Dan had booked me a place knowing how happy it would make me!

Fun, frolics and photography..

Woah, almost a week since I last blogged! Deary me, a lot has happened in 5 days so I'd better get typing!

As you can probably tell from the last post, I had a really good training session on Thursday which was the first with my team in a long time. I'd been in my chair at the weekend for the coaching course so realisitically I should've been sensible and rested but I had 'the bug' and just really wanted to play. All was well until I got home and out of the shower to see that even though I'd enjoyed it myself, the wound on my leg had definitely not enjoyed it. It was bleeding and had opened again which was like a kick in the teeth for me. I get a little complacent with it when it's doing well, I forget that its like walking a knife edge and doing that little bit too much could just tip the balance and set me backwards in my progress. Ah well, I'm feeling better after a little low patch Thursday night/Friday morning, still a little tired (a result of doing too much) but I'm not hating the world anymore!

I was a little unsure on how Friday night was going to leave me after Thursdays outburst though, as it was the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games... It could've gone two ways, I could've really embraced it and got really in the sporting mood or I could've gone really withdrawn and not wanted anything to do with it as it's a reminder that I'm no longer at that level....

Bittersweet Basketball

I love my sport.
I love my team.
I love the feeling I get when I make a play on court.
I love scoring in people's faces.
I love the look on people's faces when I score in their face.
I love the burn in my muscles after training.
I love the beads of sweat that form on my head and knowing I'm working hard.
I love the feeling of respect I get from my team mates.
I love it when people look at me as if to say "she'll never make that" and I promptly prove them wrong.
I love feeling like even after four years of being out, it feels like I never left.
I love the possibilities, the uncertainties and knowing that whatever we do, we'll always do our best.
I love how protective the boys are of me.
I love the laughs we have on court and off.
I love the feeling of accomplishment.

I love everything about Thursday nights.

I don't love coming home, getting out the shower and hearing "you might have to take basketball easy for a bit".
I don't love my leg.
I don't love the consequences that come from having a really good night.
I don't love having to take it easy.
I don't love waiting.
I don't love four years and still suffering.

I don't love my body for not letting me do what I love.

Bonding over slipper socks

Sorry for bombarding you with posts tonight but you may have noticed that my earlier post started off with 'Monday morning', well I wrote those two yesterday but had no internet connection to post them.. and then I forgot until now. Better late than never. So enjoy!

Also, in other news...

You know you should start to worry when your boyfriend and your mum start wearing matching slippers socks......





And they spent all Saturday alone together...

And now I've just heard the phrase "three's a crowd" while I'm distracted writing this :/

Hmmm.... *worried*