New beginnings..

I can't believe it's taken me this long to write but by the end of this post you will agree that it was most definitely worth the wait! I don't really know how to build up to it without giving it away and I'm a fan of surprises so I'm just going to come right out and say it...

I have now been dressing free for two whole weeks.

That is to say, it has now been two whole weeks since the day I went to the hospital and my nurse told me that the wound that has plagued me for the last four years and seven months was now healed and I no longer need any form of dressing on my leg.

Even after two weeks I think I need a moment to gather myself after writing that. It still amazes me and I still feel I need to pinch myself to believe its true. It's just unbelievable to me, I get so emotional at the thought that something that has held me back for so long is now over.

So many emotions!

It has been a rather emotional time recently, I've had a few personal ups and downs and right now I've just got this overwhelming need to tell the world how I feel.

As every person does every now and again I've had a bit of a rough week or so. I've felt a little unwell off the back of a busy birthday week (or two), a couple of little spats between Dan and I (mainly due to us both being tired and ratty I think!) I've had a minor set back with my leg a couple of weeks ago and then to top this week off I had a more than disappointing appointment with the housing team who I thought were really going to help me.

All these things added together has seemed to turn me into this crazy emotional, self conscious stark raving lunatic, seriously not joking it's like I've had PMT for like three weeks.. Either that or a mild form of bi-polar! One day I'm happier than I've ever been and the next day I'm crying like a baby over spilt milk! Hormones are going crazy for some reason..

Anyway, amidst all this yo-yo-ing with my emotions I have actually had the time of my life and really and wholly learnt the true meaning of what it feels like to be loved. It was my 25th birthday at the end of August and I knew Dan had arranged a weekend away for us somewhere, but that's all I knew. So when we arrived at this stunningly beautiful cottage in the middle of acres and acres of fields, you can imagine how amazed I was! It was perfect. A gorgeous three bedroom cottage with a log burning fire in the lounge and just me and my favourite boy. Or so I thought.

Just a quick one..

In one hour the Paralympic Opening Ceremony will begin and I don't know how to feel..

On the one hand I'm so happy for all my friends who are there taking part, and so excited to see them compete and hopefully bring us home some medals..

But on the other hand.. I'm feeling this gut wrenching churn in my stomach and struggling to hold back the tears already, feeling jealous and upset that I'm not there.

I so wanted this to be my year, competing, experiencing the electric atmosphere that so many people are talking about and yet now I'm not even there to watch. I guess I'll just have to grin and bare it, and try to enjoy watching my friends having the time of their lives...

I know I sound bitter, but I'm not really, I genuinely wish them all the best of luck and will be routing for them all.

Let's go GB!! *wipes away a tear* :)

Goodbye for now..

I would like to introduce you to one of the nicest guys you are ever likely to meet.. This is my friend Danny.



"Friend" is kind of an understatement to be honest, he's much much more than that to me. I've known him for around about eight years and from the very beginning, when he was just 13 and I was 17, we just clicked. as cheesy or corny as that might sound, it's true. And not in that way before you think it, just in the sense that I knew from day one that his friendship would be something very special to me.

Head to toe in chocolate.. Thank goodness for hair nets!

If I had to make a list of of the Top 10 days of my life, today would only be beaten by the day I scored my first basket for GB and the day I met Dan. And its him who I have to thank for this day happening.

It's my birthday next week but I was lucky enough to get one of my presents early as Dan had booked me on a course at Slattery's, which is a very upmarket chocolatiers in Bury. The course was a Chocolate Wedding & Celebration Cake course and it's something I've always wanted to learn more about, especially since becoming addicted to shows such as Choccywoccydoodah! I've always known about Slattery's but I didn't know they did courses until just recently and within a week of me finding this out, Dan had booked me a place knowing how happy it would make me!

Fun, frolics and photography..

Woah, almost a week since I last blogged! Deary me, a lot has happened in 5 days so I'd better get typing!

As you can probably tell from the last post, I had a really good training session on Thursday which was the first with my team in a long time. I'd been in my chair at the weekend for the coaching course so realisitically I should've been sensible and rested but I had 'the bug' and just really wanted to play. All was well until I got home and out of the shower to see that even though I'd enjoyed it myself, the wound on my leg had definitely not enjoyed it. It was bleeding and had opened again which was like a kick in the teeth for me. I get a little complacent with it when it's doing well, I forget that its like walking a knife edge and doing that little bit too much could just tip the balance and set me backwards in my progress. Ah well, I'm feeling better after a little low patch Thursday night/Friday morning, still a little tired (a result of doing too much) but I'm not hating the world anymore!

I was a little unsure on how Friday night was going to leave me after Thursdays outburst though, as it was the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games... It could've gone two ways, I could've really embraced it and got really in the sporting mood or I could've gone really withdrawn and not wanted anything to do with it as it's a reminder that I'm no longer at that level....

Bittersweet Basketball

I love my sport.
I love my team.
I love the feeling I get when I make a play on court.
I love scoring in people's faces.
I love the look on people's faces when I score in their face.
I love the burn in my muscles after training.
I love the beads of sweat that form on my head and knowing I'm working hard.
I love the feeling of respect I get from my team mates.
I love it when people look at me as if to say "she'll never make that" and I promptly prove them wrong.
I love feeling like even after four years of being out, it feels like I never left.
I love the possibilities, the uncertainties and knowing that whatever we do, we'll always do our best.
I love how protective the boys are of me.
I love the laughs we have on court and off.
I love the feeling of accomplishment.

I love everything about Thursday nights.

I don't love coming home, getting out the shower and hearing "you might have to take basketball easy for a bit".
I don't love my leg.
I don't love the consequences that come from having a really good night.
I don't love having to take it easy.
I don't love waiting.
I don't love four years and still suffering.

I don't love my body for not letting me do what I love.

Bonding over slipper socks

Sorry for bombarding you with posts tonight but you may have noticed that my earlier post started off with 'Monday morning', well I wrote those two yesterday but had no internet connection to post them.. and then I forgot until now. Better late than never. So enjoy!

Also, in other news...

You know you should start to worry when your boyfriend and your mum start wearing matching slippers socks......





And they spent all Saturday alone together...

And now I've just heard the phrase "three's a crowd" while I'm distracted writing this :/

Hmmm.... *worried*

I'm a groupie!

I'm currently sitting in a church hall with 16 men over the age of 50, a woman standing in front of them bossing them around whilst pointing a sharp object at them and making them produce a sometimes rather unholy noise, a lady playing the piano while all this goes on and my boyfriend sitting at the side of me, being my bridge into the whole thing.

Dan sings for the Irlam Male Voice Choir and I've gate crashed a rehearsal!

I was a little harsh with the 'unholy' comment, that's just because it's a new song they're learning. They are actually very good. They just sang 'Sing', the jubilee song that Gary Barlow wrote and it gave me shivers every time they sang it, I even found myself singing along with them at a few points! Never mind being a groupie, perhaps they'll revamp the choir, become a little more with the times and let me join too! Irlam male and one disabled girl voice choir. I think it's got a ring to it! Very inclusive too.. :D

Losing my right arm :(

Apologies for the lack of a blog yesterday but as I came home from the last day of my course, Dan had taken both the iPad and the laptop (to give me an excuse to go and see him at work later on) but it ended up not being possible for me to go, because of something that was going on with his client. Obviously it's all confidential so I won't say anymore on that.

Today started off as a normal Monday morning, I was at hospital then I had to take Mum to Tesco to do the weekly monotonous shop. Then as we arrived home, so did Dan which was awesome as I hadn't seen him since half past seven Sunday morning. Then this is where the day got difficult.

One of my best friends in the world is moving away on Thursday. It's a long and complicated story between the two of us, we started off as friends from being very young as our Mums are best friends, then we hit puberty and ended up going out for a couple of years, had a very nasty break up and didn't speak for five years and then now we are best friends again and I couldn't imagine life without him. When we started being friends again he lived and went to Uni in Chester, where I used to go down and see him quite often and stay over with him, but then he dropped out and moved back home. To be perfectly honest I think I saw more of him when he lived in Chester as I would go down and spend a full few days with him whereas here its easy to say "oh we'll if you've only got an hour or so we'll leave it until tomorrow", and then tomorrow turns into a week.. We've rather neglected each other in recent months, but ours is one of those friendships where we both know that the other is there if we are needed.

A few months ago, in fact it could be shorter than that, I'm not sure, he started visiting a friend in Swansea. He spent a lot of time down there and then I saw on Facebook they had become an item. Of course I was happy for him but straight away alarm bells started ringing in my head that it might result in him moving away.. And I was right. He's got a job down there and now he's moving on Thursday.

Dan and I went to see him today and I was a little annoyed at him as he'd asked to see me but then also asked if I'd help him move some of his things, I got a bit miffed as I felt he only wanted to see me when he needed something - I realise I was being petty, I think it was just because I'm sad he's going. Anyway, we went to have a drink with him and we had a laugh but it just made me realise that he's not going to be there anymore. I know he's only four hours away, but that's a big difference to round the corner or just an hour away. I'm going to make sure I see him again before he goes though, get as much time with him as I can.

As much as he might annoy me sometimes, I'm really going to miss him.

Cut, bruised and as happy as a kid in a sweet shop!

For the eagle eyed of you who have bothered to read the 'about me' section of my page will have noticed that I play and coach wheelchair basketball.. And, if you read my last post you will have also noticed that today I attended the second part of my Grade 2 Wheelchair Basketball Coaching Course. I've been coaching for a while now but to be able to coach a league game and also for insurance purposes at the venue we use, I need to have my certificate to say I know what I'm doing and that I'm safe!

I've been playing the sport since I was 13, I saw an advert in the local newspaper advertising a disabled sports group called Jigsaw who wanted new people to come along and try out wheelchair basketball. Up until that point I had never played any team sports, I used to be a swimmer until I had an operation on my spine which limited my movement and made it somewhat more difficult, but I'd never had any interest in any other sport. Around this time I had been getting a lot of chest infections and I was rather shy and quiet (stop laughing, honestly it's true!) and so after a discussion with Mum about it, we decided it might be good for me to go along and have a go. I kind of begrudgingly said I would, on the condition I could take a friend and so the next Tuesday, Chris my best friend and I went down to the leisure centre and took part in our first basketball session.... 

Make cake not war.. Baking instead of boxing

It's 23:52, I'm up at six readying be picked up at 07:30 to drive to Carnforth for the second part of my Grade 2 coaching course but I just had to write a quick blog before bed.

I've had a mostly productive day today, I was up early, I'd baked my first lemon cake before lunch time.. Which is delicious by the way.. Dan came home from work around half 1 at which point a had a little grump as I thought I was going out with him tonight to watch boxing but it turns out he was taking his dad (and I was being taxi) and while he was out I made some shortbread, which I've had mixed reviews about, but I like them! And now Dan is home, a little drunk (maybe a little more than a little), dancing with my mum who is also a little (more than) drunk in the kitchen while I make my packed lunch for tomorrow! How can I still find him adorable and sexy while he's drunk dancing with my mum?! I must really love that boy :)

Anyway, I just wanted to document this in some way shape or form, I'll post details and photos tomorrow.

Night all,

Much loves xx

The Day of the Justin 'Colin' Timberlake Junction..

Yesterday was a little random. Dan was working until 10 after his sleep shift the night before and we didn't have any plans until later in the evening when we were meeting my sister at the Trafford Centre. So we had a little lunch and both worked on our blogs for a while *geeks* until Dan suggested we went to Rochdale, to the town hall where you can hire out the main hall and the use the organ for a mere £2.50. I wasn't quite sure I was very interested in the organ playing, although I knew Dan would be brilliant at it, but I thought it's a nice day for the drive, I get to take some pictures of the hall which Dan assured me was beautiful and also, it's probably the cheapest plan we could've come up with!


We had to drive to Irlam first to pick up the sheet music, and we had a real giggle on the way! I won't go into details but lets just say, some how we came up with Justin Timberlake's middle name being Colin - hence the title of the post! Anyway, when we pulled up outside the town hall I could tell immediately that I wasn't going to be disappointed by Dan's description of the main hall. The building used to be a church, it was very grand and old looking, a typical church, it was a very impressive building as you can see..

Popping my blog cherry..

So, my bofriend has been nagging me to start my own blog. I set up the account about two months ago and tonight I thought it was about time I actually wrote something.

Although, I haven't really got anything to say.

Hmm.... Trying of think of something interesting to say is the hard part...

Tonight is the third night that I've spent away from my boy in the six official months we've been together. I hate it. But, it does bring the money in so I can't complain :) I'm sitting here with my mum and dad in their living room so at least I have some company... it will be very different this time next year (hopefully).

Dan and I are in the process of getting our own place, which I'm very excited for. I can't wait to have our own space, be able to slob out on the sofa, do the dishes when we want and cook what we want and when we want. And that's just the first things that came to mind. It'll be great to be able to live our own lives without my parents breathing down our necks.